The term “contentious divorce” gets tossed around a lot. After all, the end of a marriage involves a myriad of intense emotions. As such, it may be difficult to envision a scenario where the process can be amicable on both sides. However, it’s certainly not impossible. The following strategies for a peaceful divorce can help you keep things simple and maintain your sanity during this difficult time.
1. Start With a Commitment to Compromise
There are many different strategies for a peaceful divorce. However, none of them can be effective unless there’s a commitment from both parties to remain amicable. If one spouse refuses to participate or is acting in bad faith (e.g., hiding assets), then it can make a peaceful divorce more difficult.
However, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s impossible. No one gets married expecting to get divorced. As such, separating can be a difficult pill to swallow for some. Truthfully, it often just takes time for both parties to accept what’s happening. When this occurs, it’s possible for former partners to work together through the process.
2. Agree to Open and Honest Communication
For a divorce to be truly peaceful, it’s necessary for both parties to feel comfortable expressing themselves. Be honest about your needs, expectations, and concerns. You should also be receptive to hearing and understanding the other side of the coin. The simple fact is that marital dissolution will become tenuous without open communication.
To accomplish this, you should both engage in active listening and remain calm and respectful at all times. You should also use “I” statements — such as “I get upset when…” rather than “You upset me when…” You should also set clear boundaries so you each understand the parameters of your communication.
3. Always Practice Self-Care
Most strategies for a peaceful divorce focus on the dynamic between former partners. However, it’s also important for each party to practice self-care. Both physical and emotional well-being are at risk during this stressful time. That’s why it’s crucial for you to engage in activities that will reduce stress and keep your body strong and mind clear.
This step is essential because it helps you better manage stress and emotions. This will allow you to approach the entire divorce process from a more calm perspective. Meditation, exercising, and spending time with loved ones are great ways to accomplish this. Take care of yourself, and good things will follow.
4. Prioritize the Well-being of Children
Not every soon-to-be-former couple has children. However, it’s important to prioritize the youngsters when children are involved. Divorce often creates a “me versus you” mentality for those going through it. This can be detrimental to the young ones in your life. When you decide to prioritize the well-being of children, it’s possible that everything else will fall into place.
Try your best to reach an agreement on custody and visitation issues. Do not look at this as an opportunity to “win” out over your former partner. Take time to create a parenting plan, and have an honest discussion about financials as they pertain to child support. Children are the most important thing in this world, so giving them priority is a great way to have a peaceful divorce.
5. Work With a Divorce Attorney
When most people think of divorce, they expect a peaceful process to minimize the need for an attorney. In reality, working with a divorce lawyer is one of the easiest ways to simplify these proceedings. A legal professional can help mediate discussions between former partners and assist them in reaching a legally binding agreement.
Put simply, a neutral third party can prove invaluable to the negotiation process. More importantly, a divorce attorney can help both parties understand relevant law. Far too often, parties argue over issues that state law is very clear on. An attorney can provide clarity from the start, so certain matters can avoid contentious disputes entirely.
6. Consider Hiring a Forensic Accountant
Financial issues are among the biggest causes of disagreements between couples. In fact, such matters are often a direct cause of divorce. This makes it unsurprising to learn that financial disagreements are also one of the most difficult issues to handle during divorce. This is why it might be wise to consider hiring a forensic accountant.
For a marital dissolution to be fair and equitable — a necessary element of peaceful divorces — a full accounting of all assets and debts is necessary. A forensic accountant can help in this endeavor. They can track down all financial information so that neither party feels as if the other is being less than forthcoming.
If you’ve hired a divorce lawyer, you can likely forego this step. Many legal professionals have experience in forensic accounting, and those who don’t typically have financial experts they work with.
7. Compromise and Respect Boundaries
Two of the most important strategies for a peaceful divorce are a willingness to compromise and a commitment to respecting boundaries. Flexibility is an essential requirement for avoiding a nasty split. It can’t always be about what you want. If there’s no willingness to find a middle ground, keeping things amicable is likely an impossibility.
It’s also crucial that both parties respect boundaries. Don’t engage in behaviors that could result in conflict or escalate disagreements. It’s important for each party to give the other space when necessary, and focus on maintaining a civil relationship. This is particularly important if you’re interacting in the presence of children or your extended family.
If there’s one thing to take away from this guide, it’s the fact that a divorce doesn’t have to be “knock down and drag out.” You and your former partner are both adults, and there’s no need for stress and anger to overtake either of your lives. These strategies for a peaceful divorce can go a long way in accomplishing this feat, so you should put real effort into remaining amicable.
Divorce is a difficult process, but there’s no need for it to be more stressful than necessary. Contact The Turner Law Firm today by calling 480-618-1221 to schedule an initial consultation. We’re here to help simplify even the most complex family law matters.